You know those dreams where you are trying to run as fast as you can but are moving in slow motion?  That’s how I have felt the last few months.  We are slowly progressing though.  Yesterday Nate and I had a conference call with a representative from AGCI.  She reviewed the contracts we need to sign and talked about the process from now on.  The call took about 45 minutes.  Today Nate and I took the documents (over 100 pages total) to be notarized.   It took longer than we expected but the notary was very patient and excited for us to be adopting.

So what now?  I will mail out the documents tomorrow.  AGCI will then send us a binder with pre-adoption information and the DOSSIER.  I have been anxious to get my hands on that for a long time.  The average amount of time for people to complete the dossier is 2-3 months.  After the dossier is submitted to Ethiopia, we will go on the wait list and should expect to wait 3-6 months until we receive a referral (where we are matched with a child).  It will then take another 2-4 months for the government to ensure that the child is an orphan and to process the adoption.  After that, we will travel to Ethiopia to pick up our baby.  If you haven’t done the math, we have 7 – 13 months to go.  Hopefully it will feel like I’m moving faster soon!

We recently decided to switch adoption agencies.  There were a few issues that helped us make the decision to switch.  First, I was reading online posts from families who were in the process of adopting.  I noticed that the wait time for a referral was significantly longer than what the agency had told me a few weeks earlier.  I also learned that the 2011 tax credit will decrease significantly.  I wrote the agency and told them what I noticed and asked for an update on the wait time for a referral.  They responded that the wait time was longer.  I was not happy that they weren’t honest with me in the beginning.

I contacted All God’s Children International (AGCI) and asked them what the wait time was for a referral and if they would take my home study report.  (I did not want to make the change if it meant we would have to complete another home study.)  They responded immediately that the wait time with them is shorter and that they would take our home study report.  Nate and I talked about it and decided that it would be worth it to switch agencies.  Unfortunately we will lose $250 but in the long run it will be worth it.  Since we made the change I feel much better.  I trust our agency and am hopeful that the adoption will be finalized in 2010, allowing us to qualify for the current tax credit.  I am also very happy that we don’t need to wait longer than necessary.  The wait has already felt like forever.  We are ready to be parents now.

We have decided to adopt a boy from Ethiopia.  I have always been intrigued by international adoption but I thought more and more about it during my graduate studies in public health.  In one of my courses I was assigned to work in a group to develop a pseudo-business and apply our management knowledge.  My group decided to develop an orphanage in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia.  As I researched the country and the need for adoption, I realized that it was something I would want to do.  I talked to Nate about it and he also started to get excited about adoption.

Nate and I were in the process of saving our money for IVF.  We both did not like the fact that less than half of IVF procedures were successful.  As we weighed the options (IVF vs. adoption) we tried to look at the decision objectively.  We could create a life through IFV or we could find a child (who would otherwise not have a family) through adoption.  If we were to choose IVF, a child would still be out there without a family and opportunities that we could offer.  We could have chosen to adopt through LDS Social Services, but we know there are numerous families on the waiting list, and the children who are placed will go into good, loving homes.  But in Ethiopia, there are millions of children who will not have that opportunity.  The disparities between the US and Ethiopia are alarming.  Here are a few Ethiopian statistics:

• 4.8 million orphans
• 12.3% of children die before their 5^th birthday
• 50% of all children in Ethiopia will never attend school
• 88% of all children in Ethiopia will never attend secondary school
• Highest HIV/AIDS population in the world
• Doctor to child ratio: 1 per 24,000
• Life expectancy: 41
• Only 24% of households have access to safe drinking water
• GDP: $630

We are confident in our choice to adopt from Ethiopia (while also respecting other people’s decisions such as IVF, domestic adoption, foster care, etc).  We know there is a long wait ahead of us, but we know it will be worth it.

Today we passed an exciting milestone in our adoption process.  Our social worker came over for and hour and a half to interview us.  She was friendly and happy for us.  We were lucky to find such a great social worker.  After we agreed to work with her, I found out from a coworker that she is fantastic.  (My coworker is going through the adoption process and happened to do his home study with her as well.)   She adopted 10 kids of her own and told us some experiences that she and her children have had. She asked us questions about our beliefs, our childhood, our families, and our feelings about adoption.  She counseled us with parenting techniques and good literature.

At this point we need to wait for her to email us the report.  Once we check it for accuracy, she will send it to our agency and we can proceed with the dossier and second background check.