As part of the adoption process, April and I are assigned educational videos to watch. So far we have got a lot of good information out of them, especially because we are quizzed at the end which makes us more attentive. Two themes in particular have made an impression on me, and those are the need to surround our child with as much racial diversity as reasonably possible, and to learn how to deal with the realities of being a multi-racial family.

The first one seems to present a conflict. There is diversity in some parts of Utah, but many people believe that it is accompanied by higher violent crime rates. There may be some truth to this, but it is by no means the rule. Now I am seeing that the place we choose to live will have a bigger impact than I thought. There are probably a few ways we could facilitate the diversity: enrolling our child in a racially diverse school and extracurricular activities where there are other kids of African descent. I really want to get involved with other Ethiopian locals, whether they be other adopted children or adults. I’ve seen a group on Facebook where a group like this meets every so often. And I know that there are groups outside of Utah where Ethiopian adopted children are brought together for yearly reunions. We’ll be sure to participate in things like that.

The educational videos have also made me realize that our child’s life experience will be very different than mine was growing up. He will have to deal with prejudice, feelings of abandonment, cultural struggles, and other things that I never experienced. There will be lots of people who mean well but will make dumb comments in our child’s presence. There will be others who won’t mean well, and I know already that it will make me angry. There are good and bad ways for me to deal with stuff like that, and blowing up in someones face isn’t one of them.

I think April and I will have to learn that we can’t fix the issues that will come up. Racism will exist, and we just have to help him respond in the best way we can. It will take some practice, especially at calming ourselves so we can help in the most effective ways. It’s just an interesting aspect of parenting that is unique to adoptive families, but as long as we know that it takes work, I think we’ll do alright.

There is a lot more to learn about the best ways to parent an adopted child. I’m excited that we have learned so much already, and I look forward to all the other lessons that will come.

Note: The pictures I use for my posts have nothing do with anything. I just like them. The above pic is from this artist’s site, which I happen to like a lot. That is all.