Axum is doing very well.  Our first picture of him was when he was one week old.  He was tiny and dehydrated from a long journey from the north and a lack of food.  Nate and I stood over his crib tonight and watched him sleep peacefully.  We noticed how big he looked (he is now eight months old).  The biggest change for him these past few weeks is that he got a helmet.  His head is asymmetrical from laying down on one side in the orphanage.  We hate having to put it on him but felt like it was the best thing to do in the long run.  We hope he adjusts to it quickly and that we see results soon.  Today we noticed one of his top teeth came through.  That’s #3!  It is so exciting to see him grow but bittersweet at the same time.  I remember months going by as he was in the orphanage and knowing that I was missing out on those first 5-6 months of his life.  I would have given anything to hold him and enjoy him as an infant.  But overall I am grateful he is growing and doing so well.  Here’s a picture of Axum with his helmet (yes, we chose the hardcore skull and crossbones).

Abriha and Axum share a strong bond.  When Abriha comes in the room, Axum’s eyes light up and he gets a huge smile on his face.  Abriha loves interacting with Axum.  She is always giving him hugs and kisses.  Nobody can make Axum laugh as hard as Abriha can.  It is so entertaining to watch her perform for him and hear him laugh.  These past few weeks she has wanted to hold him and feed him a bottle.  She holds out her little arms and says “come on! (AKA “let me hold him!)”

I don’t want to paint an unrealistic picture of life with the kids.  We have some crazy moments that all parents experience.  You know, the fun things like getting peed on, having our hair pulled, working through toddler tantrums, etc.

Abriha Zayla Blair

Axum Tariku Blair

We wish each of you Melkam Gena too!

Day 4, Part 1 (Nate)

Today was our last day of the first trip with our kids. A was sitting on the corner steps playing when we got there. We picked her up and took her over to the baby area where they were all sunning. T was with one of the special mothers and he looked happy. The first thing I did was to take out A’s and T’s photobooks that we made them. I sat down with A on my lap and went through hers with her, which she really seemed to like. After a few pages, she was pointing out mine and April’s faces. Then she removed my hand from supporting the book, and she took over and started turning pages. A lot of the other kids and even the special mothers seemed really interested in the book too. After we were done with it, it got passed around for a while.

After that, I went and got out the accessories to the My Little Pony we gave A on the first day. She loved those. She took the little basket accessory, put all the small pieces in it and carried it around for most of the time we were there until she had to go eat lunch. Oh, and she was still wearing her necklace today. I’m not sure where her ring went, but I’d bet that one of the other kids took it.

I also spent some time with T today, walking around the grounds, looking at things. Every once in a while, I would lift him up so he would make eye contact. I can always get him to smile by doing that. April played with him for quite a while too. He really is a happy baby. The more eye contact we can get out of him, the more smiles.

We get to go back one more time today before we leave for the airport. Our schedule said we would have from 8:30am to 7:00 pm with the kids, but apparently there was an error and we had to leave at 1:30. We’ll have from 3:00 to 4:30 before we have to leave.

Day 4 Part 2 (April)

We then went back to the hotel to rest and wait for the kids to eat and take naps.  I was exhausted so I took a nap. Nate wrote in his journal.  At 3:00 we were picked up again for our final visit to Hannah’s Hope. We brought a blanket and sat the kids down with us. A colored, played with stickers and interacted with us.  We took out the picture book we made and she was pointing everyone out.  She would point to Nate and say “daddy” and would point to me and say “Mommy.”  We brought some baby cheetos and she loved them. We were happy that she was feeding some to us.  At one point she went to put one in my mouth and then quickly took it away and put it in her mouth.  She started laughing really hard.  She then took the box of crayons and hid it under her shirt. I said “Oh no, where are the crayons?”  She would then pull them out quickly and start laughing. She played that game with me for about 5 minutes. T was happy. He was babbling and observing what we were doing. We gave each kid a small Lion King stuffed animal. T was reaching for it. He also played with my necklace. We wanted to get a few more pictures so Nate took the camera and ran to the babies and older kids. He got great pictures. The parents will be very happy. He came back and we played a bit more. At 4:30 we were told it was time to say goodbye. It came very fast and didn’t feel real. We took T up to his crib. We gave him kisses. He started crying so one of the special mothers took him. We then walked A back outside. Wass told her it was time to go to another room and that she should give us kisses goodbye. She then ran off. We then gathered our things and left.

When we got back to the hotel we sent our families an email update and a few pictures from the day. We have heard back from a lot of family and friends who are so excited for us. We are grateful for their support. We know A and T will be loved by so many people when they get home.

We left the hotel at 8:00 PM and headed for the airport. We had time to eat dinner and then got on the plane at 11:00 PM. I tried not to sleep because it was still early afternoon in Utah. I was able to stay awake until 4:00 PM MST. Before too long we landed in Frankfurt. We had a 3 hour layover. The flight from Frankfurt to Chicago was quite long, although we did the best we could to sleep since it was nighttime in Salt Lake by then. Luckily there were two seats behind us that were empty. I went back there and slept better on the two seats. I must admit, I’m not a huge fan of flying. I keep thinking it will be extremely overwhelming to have two kids on the flight with us on the next trip. The final leg of the trip went well.

It does seem strange to leave Ethiopia without A and T. We are trying to be optimistic and will keep ourselves busy until we return.

We woke up at 6:30, showered, and ate breakfast.  At 8:30 our driver Danny picked us up.  It was rush hour, so the traffic was crazy.  We arrived at the courthouse at 9:15.  We had a representative with us who carried all our documentation.   We walked in a small room that was filled with people (Ethiopians and foreigners).  There were 30 seats around the perimeter of the room and all were taken.  The center of the room was full of people, so we went to a place that had an opening.  There was another couple there so we started talking to them.  We found out they were from Wyoming and were adopting a little girl from another agency.  We enjoyed getting to know them.

One by one, people got called in to the judge’s office and the room thinned out until it was only us and about four European families.  We waited in that room for about two hours.  We found out that our files were missing, so somebody had to go find them.  Somebody finally came in with a stack of files and a few minutes later the court worker opened the door and called “Bethzatha”.  That meant us, though we weren’t sure why our cased was called Bethzatha.  Our kids never spent time there, although others kids from Hannah’s Hope do.

So we went in the judge’s office and took a seat.  She spoke English and asked us questions like, “Since you started the process, have you learned about Ethiopia?”, “Are you prepared to deal with the identity issues your children will have?”, “Are these your first children?”, “Do you know other adoptive families that you can meet with?”  Then she told us that once this is finalized, we cannot change our minds.  We told her we understood.  Then she said the words we were hoping to hear: “Your file is complete. They are yours”.  We were SO happy to hear those words!!!  I thanked her and felt a rush of emotions.  It was one of the happiest moments knowing A and T are officially our children.

After court, Danny took us to an Italian restaurant and then shopping at an outdoor market.  We then returned to Hannah’s Hope, where we spent another couple hours with the kids.  When we got there, the toddlers were in a room with the special mothers.  A ran out to hug us.  She was wearing a ring and necklace that we gave her.  We went over to the swings and Nate went to get T in the baby house.  I held A in my lap and told her that we are now a family.  I knew she didn’t understand me but it was surreal to tell her and to think that she and T are officially part of our family.

After Nate got T we took turns holding him and getting him to interact with us.  He started talking a lot and we took a little video of him.  Once in awhile we would hold him up to get him to make eye contact with us and smile.  We are in LOVE with his smile!!!  He is such a happy and good baby.

A was fascinated with the buttons on my sweater.  I watched as she carefully buttoned each one of them.  I was glad to see she had good fine motor skills and a good attention span.  She would notice when an airplane would go by and point to it.  She would say “ah-roh-PLAHN!” in Amharic and get excited.  Nate and I were happy to know that she loves airplanes.  Hopefully her enthusiasm continues through our long flight to the US!

Right before we left, A was acting very cute towards Nate.  She had her arms around his neck and gave him a kiss before a special mother took her away with the other kids.  Then we went up to the baby room and handed T to his special mother.

]]> http://www.therealblairfamily.com/presents-for-a-and-t/feed 0 http://www.therealblairfamily.com/8-month-mark-keeping-busy-through-the-wait http://www.therealblairfamily.com/8-month-mark-keeping-busy-through-the-wait#comments Wed, 02 Mar 2011 05:54:13 +0000 April http://www.therealblairfamily.com/?p=302 We are at the 8 month mark on the list!!!  When we first got on the list we were told the wait would be 8-10 months, so we’re getting closer.   We are #17 on the boy list and #15 on the sibling list.  It feels good to be in the teens.  We know that a lot of families have traveled to pick up their kiddos lately, meaning there is more room at Hannah’s Hope (our agency’s transition home).  I don’t think we’ll be in the next wave of referrals, but  I’m predicting we’ll get a referral in May.

Nate and I have been keeping busy.  Here’s some of our excitement:

• Last month we celebrated our 7 year wedding anniversary!!!  I made Nate dinner that night.  I am a very lucky girl to have married Nate.  He still treats me like a princess.  I look forward to our relationship once we have kids.  Our lives are pretty relaxed and quiet now but I know we are in for some serious changes!

• We’ve met some great people who are also adopting from Ethiopia.  Danielle is on the AGCI wait list.  She is in the low teens for a girl but could get a referral at any time because her age parameters are 0-30 months.  Kylie is about to submit her dossier and go on a wait list.  It looks like her agency’s wait is not as long.  We could be bringing home boys at around the same time!
• We went to an orphanage fundraiser last weekend which was organized by a family who is adopting a girl from Ethiopia (Kristina and Brian).  They traveled in January to appear in court and met her (she is beautiful).  They are waiting to pass court and for an embassy date.  Then they’ll get to travel again – this time to pick up their sweet girl.  We are so glad to meet people in our same situation.  It’s amazing how close I feel to them.  There is such a strong bond among adoptive parents.  Nate and I want our kid(s) to be exposed to Ethiopian culture and other adopted kids.  We’re glad to be building a network now.
• Nate got Lasik a few weeks ago.  He is so happy to be free of glasses and contacts.  His right eye is red still, but his vision is great.
• Nate got a promotion today!  He is now an SEO Manager.  Congrats Mister!  We celebrated tonight by going out for sushi.  MMMM.

Our agency case worker tells us our “official numbers” each month.  But as families on the waitlist, once a month isn’t quite enough.  We like to always know our official and unofficial numbers.  Our unofficial numbers are kept at all times by a designated list keeper who is also waiting for a referral.  So, lately Traci from Kansas has been tracking the numbers and posting them on the yahoo group.  I’ve noticed on her posts that a new list keeper has not been identified.  Traci is currently number 16 on the girl list.  I contacted her and let her know that I would be happy to be the list keeper after she receives her referral.  She wrote back instantly and said that I will be the next OFFICIAL list keeper.  So, these next few months, I’ll practice keeping my own list, to make sure I’m doing it right.  That way when I do take over, I’ll be able to hit the ground running.

I must confess that I look forward to being the list keeper because I like numbers and I check frequently to see if other families have received referrals.  But I also appreciate Traci for being our list keeper – and want to provide this service to other waiting families with AGCI.

Here is the description:

Moving moment for all of us when we visited the Kebebe Government Children’s Orphanage. The rooms that held the children had a thick, smell in the air of urine and feces. Some of the pics are difficult to see. All of these children are waiting to be adopted. There were only 2 caretakers for all of these kids. … When we asked for the name of one of the little girls in the picture, the caretakers couldn’t find it. I have this on my video that is coming soon. A tough day for all of us.

We also found a post from an adoptive mother who just brought home a baby boy.  Her son was in Bethzatha orphanage for awhile.  When she went to pick him up in Ethiopia she got to visit Bethzatha.  The living conditions were not as bad, but there are a lot of children.

Here are some of the things she described:

I am still processing my time in Ethiopia–there is really so much to process. . . As you may know, adoption requires waiting, waiting and more waiting. There’s red tape—lots of hoop-jumping and often programs change and even close at moments notice. With 143,000,000 orphans in the world–and almost 6 million of them being in Ethiopia–the wait doesn’t really make sense. BUT there is a wait.

Our agency’s orphanage can only serve so many orphans at a time–and one can’t come to our private orphanage to be matched with a forever family until another one has gone. SO–while our private run orphanage serves betweent 40-60 children, many are simply waiting on court dates to come and pass so families can travel and another bed can be opened for a child from bigger orphanages like Bethzatha to come in. (W)hile some (children) only spend a few weeks there, others have been there for years and years.

It’s hard not to wonder where our child(ren) are right now.  We pray that they are getting proper care and attention.  Families who are adopting from AGCI are praying that they pass courts and allow waiting children to be matched with loving families.  We hope you join us in praying for court hearings run smoothly and ethically so that we can bring home our child(ren) as soon as possible.

So what now?  I will mail out the documents tomorrow.  AGCI will then send us a binder with pre-adoption information and the DOSSIER.  I have been anxious to get my hands on that for a long time.  The average amount of time for people to complete the dossier is 2-3 months.  After the dossier is submitted to Ethiopia, we will go on the wait list and should expect to wait 3-6 months until we receive a referral (where we are matched with a child).  It will then take another 2-4 months for the government to ensure that the child is an orphan and to process the adoption.  After that, we will travel to Ethiopia to pick up our baby.  If you haven’t done the math, we have 7 – 13 months to go.  Hopefully it will feel like I’m moving faster soon!

I contacted All God’s Children International (AGCI) and asked them what the wait time was for a referral and if they would take my home study report.  (I did not want to make the change if it meant we would have to complete another home study.)  They responded immediately that the wait time with them is shorter and that they would take our home study report.  Nate and I talked about it and decided that it would be worth it to switch agencies.  Unfortunately we will lose $250 but in the long run it will be worth it.  Since we made the change I feel much better.  I trust our agency and am hopeful that the adoption will be finalized in 2010, allowing us to qualify for the current tax credit.  I am also very happy that we don’t need to wait longer than necessary.  The wait has already felt like forever.  We are ready to be parents now.